The Republic of Battlin Boxer Nova Kaiser is a massive, environmentally stunning nation, remarkable for its compulsory military service, suspicion of poets, and stringent health and safety legislation. The hard-nosed, cynical, humorless, devout population of 4.112 billion Battlin Boxer Nova Kaiserians are ruled without fear or favor by a psychotic dictator, who outlaws just about everything and refers to the populace as "my little playthings."

The medium-sized, corrupt, well-organized government juggles the competing demands of Administration, Industry, and Law & Order. The average income tax rate is 64.9%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient Battlin Boxer Nova Kaiserian economy, worth 543 trillion Cards a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. However, for those in the know, there is an enormous, deeply entrenched, fairly diversified black market in Arms Manufacturing, Beef-Based Agriculture, Information Technology, and Uranium Mining. The private sector mostly consists of enterprising ten-year-olds selling lemonade on the sidewalk, but the government is looking at stamping this out. Average income is an impressive 132,172 Cards, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Battlin Boxer Nova Kaiser successfully hosted the Suspicious Olympics, stranded mountaineers can watch livestreamed footage of their rescues, the question "please would you...?" is usually laden with passive aggression, and there's sophisticated talk of revolution within the ever-expanding mining colonies. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Battlin Boxer Nova Kaiser's national animal is the Kuriboh, which is also the nation's favorite main course.

Battlin Boxer Nova Kaiser is ranked 261,723^rd in the world and 7,992^nd in Suspicious for Highest Food Quality, scoring 7.15 on the Meeshlin-Starr Index.